Thursday, October 7, 2010

Paralyzed by complexity...????





I'll be the first to admit it.....I just cannot multi-task like I used to.  Is this what happens with age? Is this what happens with age and menopause?  Is this what happens when you couple age, menopause and thyroid disease?  I don't know the answer to that, but I know I have all three and sometimes they kick my butt.  In my younger years....well, let me just say that if you are reading this and you are 35 or less, you may have no blessed idea of what this crazy women speaks.....but just wait.  If you are still reading this, one day you will want to know, as I do, did God really mean for us to have to deal with being the mom of teenagers AND go through menopause at the SAME time???? That's on my list to ask Him when I get to heaven!  Seriously, though, menopause really does change your life, so it wouldn't hurt to read up on before you get there....oh, back to where I was.  And aging, though better than its alternative, is something with which to be reckoned as well.  I am slowly getting used to it.....well, each day I am dealing with it, and each day we each get a little older....geez, that's a lot of "eaches"!

So I have been feeling like my list of to-do's.....well, it's a long one! Is yours? Sure, it is.  We all have a boat load of things we must do to keep our households running, to keep kids coming and going, to do whatever jobs we are called to do, even if they are strictly volunteer jobs.  We each must live before God in a way that pleases Him, we must each do what keeps our own bodies healthy and functioning, we must each have a running list of things that demand our attention. And then there are the extras.  Email to read, creative ideas to flesh out and carry out.....friends to have coffee with, meals to take to a sick friend, or to a new mom, or to someone who just needs a little loving.  We have relationships that need our attention.  Life is complex, is it not?  And sometimes that complexity can be overwhelming.  The list, especially if it gets sidelined by life, or ignored to do some project, or lengthened  as we procrastinate......well, it is ever present.  And we fit it in, among the laundry and the errands, and the soccer games and the music lessons.  But it certainly complicates things, doesn't it? 
Life is just complex.  Even if you could live on a mountain top alone, there are still things that are ever present that you cannot avoid. 
Life is complex......yet God calls us to be still and know that HE is God.

 "Be still and know that I am God.  I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Ps. 46:10

Where do we draw the lines?  When do we decide to turn off and be still?  When do we decide that we cannot add one more thing to our list, to our plate, to our "to do" jar?  I'm feeling a little of that right now....and the holidays loom just right around the corner, and expectations are high.  We long to have the perfect Thanksgiving and Christmas for our families, and we sacrifice what it takes to aim at that goal.  But sometimes it is way too much to expect our families to endure rather than to enjoy. It can become way too complex so easily, can it not?
I've been later than usual getting out the pumpkins...but the snap of cool weather brought on the urge to "fallify" my surroundings. I LOVE fall, but if I had listened to Hobby Lobby and Michael's, I would have been thinking about my fall decor back in July.  I was still sweating, not thinking about pumpkins.  I understand retail, and thinking ahead for the season to come....but sometimes it's a little too much for me.  I don't multi-task well, so I surely cannot think yet about Christmas when I am just getting my fall decor out.  And so the complexity continues. Juggle this, think about that, wash a load of laundry, call this person, etc.  KEEP my list going, otherwise those tasks get lost for sure.


Or I do nothing, because the complexity paralyzes me.....it renders me useless such that it's even hard to get a meal on the table, or pull the weeds in the flower bed.  So I fall back to the basics.  I narrow down my expectations and do the needful.  There are days when I have to limit my reading of emails and blogs because they contain such WONDERFUL ideas, but they skew the view.  They taunt me to have unreasonable expectations, and live in a land of "what ifs".....what if I had a maid, I "could" do all those craft projects, and if I had a nanny, then I could re-do my house, and if I could just be like her, then I'd be liked......the land of dissatisfaction......the grass is greener on HER side.  And it either sends me into a tizzy to do whatever I can to try to be all of that, or I  have to take a step back and realize what's truly important to me.  I have to JUGGLE.  I have to discriminate ,with wisdom that is God-given, as to what I truly CAN do, and what is a good idea, but doesn't work for me now.  I have to decide to admire it and either toss it in an idea file, or admire it and enjoy it from afar. And walk away.  Choices to be made everyday, but ones that must be made.  What about you?  Are you paralyzed by complexity?  How do you decide what is reasonable for you to do?  How do you turn off and take time to be still?  Do you keep a running list, do you keep an idea folder, do you manage to do it all?  If there was indeed a magic equation for us all to figure out just how much we can do, how much we can handle, we could probably sell it !  We must juggle though, in order to be intentional to do what we know is right for our families. If we don't intentionally deal with our children and train them, then someone will.  Someone will fill their minds with things that skew the view, that keep them focused on number one.  We must be intentional...so we must decide what is important to us and deal with that first. First things first.  Simple things and then be able to add in the rest.  Do you agree?  Do you sometimes feel paralyzed by the complexity of life and just unplug to get re-centered?  Surely we are all alike....so share what you do.  Let's encourage one another here.  Thanks, if you're still with me, for all the encouragement you pass along to blog friends.  It's  invaluable!!

12 comments:

Lisa said...

Sue,
You have articulated so well what I was actually feeling yesterday. Thank you for your transparency.:)

Marla @ Always Nesting said...

Oh Suzanne, Suzanne, why do you think I've posted so much on the middle years, menopause and all that ails us? We are sisters united in this unfair and unwanted curse on our bodies as we deal with our dwindling estrogen and exasperating teens. Thank goodness each day is a new day, God forgives our crankiness, and our kids already think we are slightly out of it so when we "forget" or "misplace" because we've been up half the night with hot flashes, they don't give it another thought.

And today is another day and tomorrow may be more of the same, but be thankful we have our blogs to share our misery :)

Love the Decor! said...

I can so relate and that i is why these little "unplugged" get aways are so important o me. The kind with no agenda just chance to be Hope you can have some time like this it really makes a difference

Happy To Be/ Gl♥ria said...

I take one day a week for just some me time...but then I'm retired now and can do that..Menopause is a thing of the past for me...Great post...Hugs and smiles Gl♥ria

FrouFrouBritches said...

Okay, so I am not going through menopause yet - maybe perimenopause though. I SWEAR I have adult ADD though. I cannot multi-task AT ALL! I never get done with ANYTHING around the house before I move on to the next thing. I don't mean to, but I can't help it. I get distracted too easily. It's very frustrating, isn't it?

I definitely have to scale back my expectations of myself. I quit watch Martha Stewart all together. It's too depressing! I CANNOT do it all and that just has to be okay.

I love the fall, but I usually skip the fall decor all together and do Christmas instead. I can't get excited about decorating for fall when it's still 85 degrees outside.

Sue said...

I love your expression ~ paralyzed by complexity ~ for that is exactly the name for the feeling that overcomes this post menopausal woman too!! When I absolutely feel out of control, I begin with my "drawer" which contains 2 notebooks. One is a list of the rooms in my house that I check off as I clean them {seasonal chores etc }, and the other is my planner {daily life stuff }. I go through both and all those odd things flying around in my head get written in these 2 places. I haven't actually "done" anything yet, but having it on paper and in 1 place calms me down and I can begin with just 1 thing. {and next I clean my purse:-) }

No magic pill, but it helps.

Corners of My Life said...

...did God really mean for us to have to deal with being the mom of teenagers AND go through menopause at the SAME time????

One of life's mysteries but having just passed the test let me tell you it ca be done!

sheila from life @ #17 said...

well, having just picked back up my blog (I felt so bad about it just lurkin' about gathering cobwebs), I can say I've already gotten drawn into many more hours on the computer...going to have to nip that in the bud...soon... :)

and I can easily be drawn into being a malcontent when I see other homes and projects that seem to come together so seamlessly...an illusion, but I will, my own fault, become disheartened...

Good thing I have lowered the bar a bit on "perfect" and usually snap out of my self-induced funk long enough to laugh at myself :)

Richella said...

Oh, boy, Suzanne, do I ever know how you feel! Sometimes I wonder if I bring all this complexity upon myself, or if this is just the way it is. I think we all feel dazed and confused some days!

Thank you for sharing your heart. May we all remember to be still and know that He is God--with all that this means. God bless you!

Le Chateau des fleurs said...

I do....Sometimes, i just stay home....I get tired... Emotionally, mentally and physically. I think it is ok to wait and do things when we are ready...

Just a little something from Judy said...

Very well written post my friend. I was with you on every word and I was agreeing with you. How did you know what I was thinking? We must be around the same age. You have a gift of being able to share your heart. So thankful you are a blogger and I am a visitor to your blog.

Wishing you a relaxing(if possible) weekend. Waiting to hear about your new little one.

Donna Lynn said...

Thanks for speaking from your heart, it is a rare thing on blogs, mostly we are all trying to put our best foot forward and all the stuff that entails...I like the honesty so much better!

Big Hugs!