Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Restless spirit.....



My house is empty...in more ways than one!  There is a spot missing where we moved the twin bed out of the office/guest room and  into my daughter's new apartment.  There is a gaping hole in the living room where the old sofa was, that went to live in her  new apartment, and awaits  our NEW sofa.  My daughter's room upstairs is in the process of being cleaned and painted...we waited too long to get the experimental paint design of blue and cantaloupe ( I know!!! , right???) from her teen aged years into something more calm, more serene and more grown up!!  So I took most things out (the junk), moved large pieces of furniture to the center of the room, and it's ready to paint.  I'm thinking a calm, neutral, hint of taupe color...... but it's clearly NOT lived in right now.  My office has yet to be put back together......so no guests can come for now...if you come, you will end up on the sofa, the one in the family room!

And most of all, after my husband has gone to work for the day, there is an emptiness in our house....both college kids are off on their own, with play time before classes  actually start  and they then  have to do their jobs! 
Not that I mind the quiet, nor the emptiness....it's a playground for the mind.....yet it leaves this mamma just a little bit restless at the moment.  I have LOTS to do to keep me busy, yet I feel restless.....do I tic off the items of my TO DO list, and make them  TA-DA"s?? or do I shuck all the responsibility and go off and shop or play??  Oddly enough, that doesn't draw me like it used to........
I have enough to do each day that I am never bored...I have work to do...yet I feel restless. A restless feeling in my spirit, that longs for completeness of lists, a feeling of accomplishment, and a sense of my own calling.  A yearning for settledness.  Do you have that?

While the washer runs in the background, I make my mental list of what I want to accomplish today.  And sometimes I wander about my house, stirring the creativity of my mind and what project I'd like to tackle next.  Some projects have prerequisites, you know??  I want to do Project A, but need to do THIS first.  I am sure you have areas like that also. 
So in the quietness of the morning, I rest in the fact that God is with me, He is always near.  I rest in the fact that what I accomplish doesn't earn merit with Him, He loves me regardless.  He desires for me to LOVE HIM.  And I must rest in that and do so. 
As well, I long for this hot dry summer to be done......I wish for cooler days, and the feeling of fall, for autumn smells and sights, and for the renewed feeling that school and football season brings.  It's really my favorite time of the year...and I love to decorate for fall......but really don't want to do so when there are still triple digits showing on the thermometer!!  So I am restless for cooler weather, for sure!
What about you?? Are you longing for something in your soul?  What is it? 

4 comments:

427VintageHeaven said...

What a beautiful read that was. Thank You for sharing those moments in your life that are usually for the most part private. I can totally relate...as a mother whose children are young adults now and do not live here ...to the lists..of to-dos to the quietness..and for me sometimes loneliness.
God as you said is our comforter and Friend always..Thanks for reminding us...(me)for sure!

Bunny Jean said...

It truly is rite of passage... for parent as well as child.

I hope you will be able to have her home for the holidays.

xoxo Bunny Jean
Home to Wednesday's Bunny Hop Party!

Melissa Miller said...

Aw, Suzanne I'm sure it's hard but wonderful at the same time. You have a gift for writing.

I'll check out the sofa. Thanks for coming by and telling me about it. It sounds beautiful. I like that brand too.

Warmly, ~Melissa

Helen's Decor said...

Hi Suzanne! I'm a follower and hope you are following me or soon will be! I'm participating in Pamela's party, too. Your thoughts and feelings were expressed in a lovely manner. I know your faith will comfort you as always. I agree you are a great writer.
Helen