Friday, November 20, 2009

Some words of wisdom and fun!


Subject: Notes on dusting

Remember...a layer of dust protects the wood beneath it.

'A house becomes a home when you can write 'I love you' on the furniture.'

I used to spend at least 8 hours every weekend making sure things were just perfect - 'in case someone came over'
Finally I realized one day that no-one came over; they were all out living life and having fun!
NOW, when people visit, I don't have to explain the 'condition' of my home They are more interested in hearing about
the things I've been doing while I was away living life and having fun. If you haven't figured this out yet, please heed this advice.

Life is short. Enjoy it!

Dust if you must ....... but wouldn't it be better to paint a picture or write a letter, bake cookies or a cake and lick the spoon or plant a seed, ponder the difference between want and need?

Dust if you must, but there's not much time ...with shrimp to eat, rivers to swim and mountains to climb, music to hear and books to read, friends to cherish and life to lead..

Dust if you must, but the world's out there with the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair, a flutter of snow, a shower of rain. This day will not come around again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind, old age will come and it's not kind.

And when you go - and go you must - you, yourself will make more dust!

Share this with all the wonderful women in your life.
I JUST DID.
It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.





Mammograms

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to
worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and
doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and
best of all, you can do these simple exercises
right in and around your home.

EXERCISE ONE:

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door
as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.

Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case
the first time wasn't effective enough.

EXERCISE TWO:

Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just
perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one
breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back
the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn
over and repeat with the other breast.

EXERCISE THREE:

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist.
Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your
breasts.

Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with
the stranger to meet next year and do it again.

YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!

AND, just a thought for all the women out there.......
.
MENtal illness,
MENstrual cramps,
MENtal breakdown,
MENopause............

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with
men?.........And

When we have real trouble it's HISterectomy!!!!

Send this to all women to have a laugh AND, don't
forget to have a mammogram!!!!!!

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...
Hard to Find
Supportive
Comfortable
Always Lifts You Up
Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging
And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!

Share this with a friend!
I DID

19 comments:

Beverly said...

Yes, some very wise words Suzanne. Now I must go do my dusting and prepare for my upcoming mammogram. So funny, but so true.

Marla at Always Nesting said...

Hilarious! You are so funny.

Walking on Sunshine... said...

Very funny! Love the cartoon!!!

Enjoy your weekend!

susansternberg said...

Loved the part about how our problems start with men! So, so true!! Thanks for the smile, Suzanne.

kimmcl said...

Both of those stories were just hilarious Suzanne. I love your sense of humor and I will certainly heed your advice on dusting. Kim

pk said...

I laughed so hard reading this! Just what I needed to start my weekend. Hope you have a great one!

pk @ Room Remix

Robin said...

These are too funny! When we first moved into this house a couple of years ago, I spent all day, every day, doing nothing but cleaning, mopping, dusting, washing, etc...."in case" I had company. And you are right, nobody came over. I then started to realize that because I was being so crazy about the house cleaning, I didn't make time to finish any of my "projects" that I wanted to do around the house. Once I made the decision to stop the fanatical cleaning, everything started to fall into place.

However, my house is now a pig-sty and I DO have company coming over tomorrow...but hey, I can show them my projects! :o)

{{{HUGS}}}

Robin :o)

Melissa Miller said...

Ouch Suzanne. Just hearing about the fridge door made me hurt. Ha!

Great advice and post! :)

Jill said...

Thank you Suzanne for the great laughs!
~ Jill

Tales From My Empty Nest said...

Too funny!!! Thanks for sharing. I especially liked the cartoon. I have to get my mammogram in December. Happy Thanksgiving! Love & blessings from NC!

Domestic Designer said...

Great post! I am so glad to hear that dust is good for wood! :-)

Tara said...

You are too funny! So true though. Now I don't feel guilty about dusting. I'm off to create something.
Hugs...
tara

Vickie said...

Just had my mammogram last week! Somebody sent me this after the fact. I'm glad you posted it - it's so funny! I love the cartoon.

Just a little something from Judy said...

You add joy to my life! This is a great post! I found myself agreeing and laughing the whole way through it. Thank you!

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

Okay, the mammogram thing scared the begeezes out of me!!! ;)

I can't decide what to fill my jar with...was thinking maybe peppermints...

Polly@MakeMineBeautiful said...

OMGosh - what a great laugh. It's been a while since I laughed out loud, but your mammogram exercises did the trick for me.

About the dust.....my mom always told us "Never have anything in your house that would embarrass you if the preacher showed up unannounced, and never have your house so dirty that you feel you need to apologize for it." I took that last one to heart........and bought a can of spray air! Seriously. I keep it near the front door and if anyone shows up unexpectedly, I just whip it out and spray the dust off what's closest to the door. I can't believe I just admitted that, but hey, the truth's the truth!
Thanks for the laughs.

Cathy said...

Thanks for the laugh! Dusting is one of my least favorite chores.

Happy@Home said...

I could really use a laugh about now and you just gave it to me. Thank you. I totally agree with the part about dusting ~ now if I could just put that into practice.

Controlling My Chaos said...

I'm with you. I simply DO. NOT. DUST.

EVER.